And I Thought I Was Clumsy

Okay, we’re not supposed to [point and] laugh at people, but c’mon!

Just to be fair, sometimes I can barely make it down the stairs. Hell, most days I can barely make it across a flat floor without a near fatal accident. My feet just seem to have a mind of their own at the most inopportune moments. But I always – always – laugh about it.

Near falls are my favorite, especially on slippery surfaces like snow covered sidewalks or parking lots. Time slows down, your heart relocates to the middle of your throat, and adrenaline shoots through your body in preparation for a broken limb or tailbone. Then, when you don’t fall, you’re filled with a mixture of relief and mild embarrassment. Plus, everything you experience during those five seconds shows on your face and in your involuntary attempts to stop the fall, which makes the entire situation hilarious.

I once told an employee she was in trouble after I saw she didn’t even crack a smile when I fell one night on our way out of work. I tried to stop the fall, so I was flailing my arms all about, but I landed smack on my bum anyway. It hurt; my pants were soaked from the snow; and I snorted so hard I couldn’t breathe. Yes, I snort when I laugh. That’s good stuff and she totally missed out on the easy laugh.

So when I saw this headline today, I have to admit, I chuckled. No snorting though.

How much would it suck to be that lady? I hope she’s not sick or anything serious and it was just a case of a rebellious equilibrium. But, for her sake, she better have a good sense of humor or reading that article could throw her into depression. If it was me who fell, and I wasn’t sick, I’d laugh my arse off. Even if I was sick, I’d still have a good giggle about it. Laughter is the best medicine. 🙂

P.S. To my clients in New York: If you’re the lady in that article, please don’t fire me.

Do you laugh when someone falls or almost falls? Or do you go all serious and give ’em the old Aw! Are you okay?

2 Replies to “And I Thought I Was Clumsy

  1. Once I worked in a restaurant where the owner was so paranoid he even had cameras in the walk-in cooler. Well, one day my favorite cook fell completely down on her butt in the cooler, then got up and looked around like, “nobody saw that, right?” Except that the rest of the staff was in the office watching her fall over and over and over.
    So yeah, it’s funny when they’re not hurt, unless they’re hurt when they fall while rollerblading off the roof onto the trampoline to try to bounce into the pool or something, or falling through the ceiling of the liquor store they’re breaking into. In those cases of extreme stupidity, it’s extra funny when they fall.

  2. Yep, the only thing better than a near fall is a hardcore wipe out as the result of an extremely moronic act, e.g. any episode of Scarred on MTV.

    Sure, it’s awful those poor guys (and a few gals) were moderately to seriously injured, but HELLO! What did they expect to happen when they attempted to skateboard or snowboard or roller-skate down a stair rail? Geesh.

    Painful lesson for them; hilarious, albeit somewhat twisted, entertainment for me. ‘Course I would not find it funny if they would’ve died, but since they survived to tell their story on MTV, I feel it’s okay for me to laugh at their lapse in judgment.

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