Journal – Page 2 – Unleash the Flying Monkeys!

Are You Friends with the Green-Eyed Monster?

Or, are you the Green-Eyed Monster’s nemesis?

Recent events have forced me to contemplate a major source of conflict in relationships: jealousy. It’s crazy the extent to which some people will go to feel in control of the person they love. From my experience, the tighter hold you feel you need on your partner, the less hold you have on the relationship.

And I’ve also learned that jealousy stems from one person’s insecurities, fears, doubts, baggage, etc. and very often has nothing to do with their partner. Yes, partners can be the trigger, but you always have a choice in how you react.

“The more incomplete we feel, the more obsessed we become with owning someone on whom we’ve projected all our missing qualities, hence the more jealous we become.” – Gloria Steinem

Now, don’t get me wrong, I was a jealous chick in my late teens, early twenties. But I outgrew that useless emotion and refuse to shake hands with the fiendish brute ever again. Why?
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31-Year Old Blogger Feared Missing: Later Found Buried Under Work

Okay, maybe it’s not so nice to poke fun at Tiffany Tehan; however, the above blog headline just flowed out my fingertips and who am I to argue with my fingers? Plus, my whole objective in publishing a post today is based on the fact that I’ve been away for far too long without any warning or heads up. And really, after what she put her family, friends and community through, does Tiffany deserve anything less than jabs, name-calling and ridicule?

Call me judgy, or even snarky if you must, but when a mother abandons her child(ren) because she wants to “start a new life,” I’m not going to have buckets of positive feedback with which to shower her. Not only did Tiffany abandon her child, she just up and disappeared. No explanation. No “Dear John” letter for her hubby. Just skips town with her new fella and screw everyone and everything else.
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Goals for 2010 – The First Three Months

Nails dragged across a chalkboard. Two pieces of Styrofoam rubbed together. George Dubya giving a speech. All are infinitely more appealing than progress analysis, a crucial step in goal achievement. How do I know where I’m at in my plan for 2010 if I don’t stop to look at what I’ve done and what I haven’t done? Simple, I won’t know until I face the executioner, I mean, music.

Goal #1 – Write at least 1,000 words a day…Finish manuscript by March 1st.

Results – Failed. I wrote approximately 48,000 words between January 13 – March 31, 2010.

I must not whip myself. I must not whip myself.

Okay, I’ve already given myself a stern, mental tongue-lashing for my failure to achieve Goal #1. No excuses. It was my fault. Period. Therefore, I’ve adjusted the deadline to May 31, 2010.

I will not miss the new deadline.
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Man Repellent of the Feline Persuasion

Whilst I cleaned the litter boxes and endured the scent of ammonia and feces – part of a daily ritual my cats gather to watch – I contemplated today’s post and decided it was time to pay homage to the feline members of my family. Although I love them like any other family member, the men who come into (and sometimes quickly exit) my life seem to have some deep-rooted aversion to cats.

It boggles the mind. Of course, I’m surprised that men are repelled by my “single mom” status. My daughter and I are cool chicks; they’d be lucky to have us. But honestly, how can people not like cats? They’re furry. They’re fairly independent. They know when to snuggle and when to leave you the eff alone. And they’re wicked hilarious. Not liking cats is ridiculous. There just isn’t a good explanation. Or if there is, I’ve yet to hear it.
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You Call Yourself a ‘Single Mom’?

Photo: Figurines of Mama and Baby Bear Where’s that damn soapbox? Oh yeah, there it is. Now… Ahem.

Pardon me while I go off on a tangent for 300 (or 1,200) words about something that irks me to no end. There’s not one reason in particular why today’s topic burns my biscuits as much as it does; nonetheless, my bum is aflame and I feel compelled to rant; or, if you prefer, to pontificate in the least pompous way possible. It is what it is, I s’pose.

Here are my picks for the top three offenders, in no particular order or level of goat-getting ability:

If you’re formerly known as Mrs. Surname Here, a single Mama Bear you are not.

Yeah, I said it. But read my explanation before you prepare a roast in my honor.

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Prolific Blogger Award

My blog began in August 2008 with the goal to build its readership at a steady, organic rate, which meant I didn’t want to do heavy promotions or use other guaranteed traffic magnets. I wanted people to discover Unleash the Flying Monkeys! because of its content and not because of my marketing abilities.

Along the way, there’s been lessons in proper blog etiquette, learning the balance between my blog and my fiction, and sticking to the promise I made to blog on a somewhat regular basis but always with 100% honesty.

Readers of my blog receive the real me — straight up and uncensored. My name, my face, my dreams, my failures, and my heart are all here for the world to see. I knew some would get me and others wouldn’t. Plus, my blog is not focused on one specific purpose other than to chronicle my journey through life, so I knew that might affect the number of readers in the beginning. …continue reading

And I Thought I Was Clumsy

Okay, we’re not supposed to [point and] laugh at people, but c’mon!

Just to be fair, sometimes I can barely make it down the stairs. Hell, most days I can barely make it across a flat floor without a near fatal accident. My feet just seem to have a mind of their own at the most inopportune moments. But I always – always – laugh about it.

Near falls are my favorite, especially on slippery surfaces like snow covered sidewalks or parking lots. Time slows down, your heart relocates to the middle of your throat, and adrenaline shoots through your body in preparation for a broken limb or tailbone. Then, when you don’t fall, you’re filled with a mixture of relief and mild embarrassment. Plus, everything you experience during those five seconds shows on your face and in your involuntary attempts to stop the fall, which makes the entire situation hilarious.

I once told an employee she was in trouble after I saw she didn’t even crack a smile when I fell one night on our way out of work. I tried to stop the fall, so I was flailing my arms all about, but I landed smack on my bum anyway. It hurt; my pants were soaked from the snow; and I snorted so hard I couldn’t breathe. Yes, I snort when I laugh. That’s good stuff and she totally missed out on the easy laugh.

So when I saw this headline today, I have to admit, I chuckled. No snorting though.

How much would it suck to be that lady? I hope she’s not sick or anything serious and it was just a case of a rebellious equilibrium. But, for her sake, she better have a good sense of humor or reading that article could throw her into depression. If it was me who fell, and I wasn’t sick, I’d laugh my arse off. Even if I was sick, I’d still have a good giggle about it. Laughter is the best medicine. 🙂

P.S. To my clients in New York: If you’re the lady in that article, please don’t fire me.

Do you laugh when someone falls or almost falls? Or do you go all serious and give ’em the old Aw! Are you okay?

Update: Goals For 2010 – The First Two Weeks

Alrighty, I’ve found accountability helps me stay on track, so this post is an update about how well I’ve done thus far on my plan for 2010. Overall, I’m not disappointed, but, upon closer examination, there’s definitely room for improvement.

The one thing I am most proud of is the fact that I haven’t procrastinated one time in 13 days.

“Hello, my name is Leah, and I’m a recovering procrastinator.”

If something popped into my head – something important – and I heard that little voice whisper, you can do it tomorrow, then I completed the task straight away. And let me tell you, it felt freaking awesome!

For example, I woke up early today, around 5:30 AM EST, with a nudge from my muse to write this post. Really I think she was just desperate for me to write anything other than CSS . But I continued laying there, all snuggie under my fluffy comforter, contemplating whether to get up to write before work or wait until after work.

Then it hit me — if I wait until after work, my eyes will be ready to pop out of their sockets and my enthusiasm about publicly humiliating myself will surely fade. So I hopped outta bed and started writing this post.

Okay, the self-congratulation is over.

Next up, the public humiliation and self-flagellation.

Goal #1 – Write at least 1,000 words a day for Buzzards. …continue reading

A Conversation With My Kid About Religion

Don’t ask me how this conversation came up. Some days my daughter and I hop from one topic to the next as quickly as Ohio’s weather changes. And for everyone not familiar with Ohio weather, our motto is, “If you don’t like the weather, just wait a minute.”

One of the jobs as my daughter’s mother and teacher is to do my best to answer all her questions.

Sometimes that’s easy: “Mom, who was the 24th president again?”

And sometimes it’s not so easy: “Mom, why don’t people see how important it is to help each other?”

But I always answer honestly with as much factual information as possible in addition to my personal thoughts.

By the way, she’s currently 10 1/2 years old.

During a conversation on Wednesday of this week, we somehow stumbled on religion, which is not one of my favorite subjects and my daughter knows it. She believes in God, while I take more of a…scientific approach. However, she knows I respect her beliefs and I encourage her to pursue what she feels is right for her life.

“Mom, why can’t a person believe whatever they want to believe?” …continue reading

WIP Update: Buzzards – Too Much of a Twist?

I told y’all how great Buzzards is coming along, right? Yeah, so, I have a concern and I don’t know if it should be a concern. Or if it’s just my inner critic attempting to censor my muse. Or if it’s a concern best handled during revision. Here’s the situation:

For the past few months I didn’t know, not on a conscious level anyway, what the big twist would be in Buzzards. I had a couple of small ones worked out that I knew would relate to the big one but the details of the major twist eluded me until yesterday. Well it revealed itself, in a huge way, and while I love it, I’m worried it’s too much for most readers to stomach.

There are two concerns: First, I don’t want the twist to undo the bond between the reader and the female lead. Second, I don’t want the reader to be so turned off by the twist’s denotation, they put the book down and give up on the story. …continue reading